A Predator Lands in London!

Commuters in South East London have recently been woken from their somnambulistic state while they do their usual A-Z on the bus to work each morning. For those with slightly overactive imaginations this had led to a quick awakening from their state of early morning stupor. The Predator is in London!

Once (half) awake, of course, they realize that their sell by date may extend for more than the few seconds they were expecting. The alien creature in front of them is still and lifeless, even though struck through the spear he holds is the head of another fearsome creature! Instead of crying “Arnold!” they find they can take a second glance at the steel leviathan in front of them. Plus, he won’t disappear in a flash, only to whip the skull out of their head flesh a moment later. This is one static predator. Having said this, approching this beast makes the more poetic want to start exclaiming "Behold! A giant am I!"

He is no windmill, though! To those of you who haven’t seen the film, seen the pictures of at least heard of The Predator, this race of out of this world hunter gatherers is seriously hard. A ‘Lock Stock’ situation would see them victorious, the South London wide boys reduced to a series of bloody carcasses littering the ground. But just how did he get here? In this… junk yard?

A junk yard is probably far too harsh a word for it. However, each morning the proprietors of a – dang – junk yard in Lewisham, London, drag to the forefront a massive eight foot replica of one of our favorite scary movie beasts, the Predator. They are vague about the origins of the structure, but not so much about the price attached to it. Although they are more than willing to haggle, your starting gambit had better start at five thousand (British) pounds. Otherwise, leave it out!

If you are having problems with the birds in your garden, and you have the kind of spare cash that has three zeros at the end of the initial number, you may wish to consider this giant among scarecrows. Magnificent he certainly is, but this giant needs a home soon. Oxidization is beginning to occur and he may only be able to stay intact at this spot for another few thousand years or so. As there is no Battersea Predator’s Home willing to give him a kennel and a staple diet, this poor guy may rust himself (determinedly and without mercy) to the spot before long!

The creature is already becoming something of a landmark and many will see its eventual (if not inevitable) sale as a shame. South London has many landmarks, but they tend to be historical. This guy is more loved in this (not so) quiet corner of the capital of England than he ever was on the silver screen. He may even be gaining a ‘cockney’ accent! “Flllrrr shhhhss, isshhqtqy!”

No one seems to know who took the huge time and effort to construct this giant - or for that matter why. There he is, though, resplendent in the early morning London mist, silently threatening commuters, old folks and school children. However, if you do happen to have a few squillion quid on you, why not take pity, and take the poor guy home?!